Funniest Onion Ever

Funniest Onion Ever

If you've known me for more than a decade you know I was never a big Al Gore fan, and maybe even why. I was tactful enough not to kick Al when he was down, though the restraint was difficult.

Lucky for me the Onion has no sense of restraint or tact, and has as long a memory as I do. I'm amazed my inbox isn't filled with copies already:

Gore, who was prohibited from hearing music with graphic sex, violence, or drug references since Tipper founded the Parents Music Resource Center in 1985, confirmed yesterday that her crusade was "total bullcrap."

Hey, if he'd have said that ten years ago I might have voted for him...

In addition, Gore said that listening to the forbidden W.A.S.P. albums over and over again had not turned him into a satanic dope fiend as his wife and her associates had warned.

"I can't believe I wasted half my life helping Tipper put warning labels on this stuff when I could have been seeing these guys do their thing live," Gore said of W.A.S.P. "They used to whip raw meat at the audience. How bad-ass is that?"

I also flash back to the 80s, the 1982 midterms in particular, in the Register today.

What else I got here...

With Republicans talking about ending citizenship by birth, Michael Gerson writes in the Washington Post:

The authors of the Fourteenth Amendment guaranteed citizenship to all people “born or naturalized in the United States” for a reason. They wished to directly repudiate the Dred Scott decision, which said that citizenship could be granted or denied by political caprice. They purposely chose an objective standard of citizenship -- birth -- that was not subject to politics. Reconstruction leaders established a firm, sound principle: To be an American citizen, you don’t have to please a majority, you just have to be born here.

TheIowaRepublican rolls out today's number, state treasurer: "Current State Treasurer Mike Fitzgerald leads Jamison 42% to 30%, with 26% of respondents undecided about the race."

Speaking of numbers, Roxanne Conlin tells Iowa Indy “Those numbers were not at issue,” meaning the pre-primary poll of Grassley 48, Conlin 40 conducted by the discredited Research 2000. “My sense is that I’m still about that far from him.”

And since we can't shop at Target OR Wal-Mart, bring your boxes and your quarter for the cart for a long read on the history of Aldi's.